Tuesday, September 27, 2011

August 23, 2010: The day that changed my life forever. Part 1

I'd had some medical concerns for years, but it seemed no Doctor could figure out why I just didn't "feel good". They would always run the standard lab work, which in the beginning always came back normal, or normal enough I guess. My random symptoms would come and go, sometimes I would feel great and other times I just didn't feel right.  I wasn't sure just exactly how to describe how I felt. I just knew something was wrong. About a year prior, on the hunt for yet another Doctor who would listen to me and find out what was wrong, I finally found her, Wendi Nielson. I explained to her my years worth of medical history and how I just knew something was wrong and no Doctor ever really listened. In fact I had started to believe that I might just be nuts.  Maybe there was nothing wrong with me, maybe I was crazy. She listened to my every word, took down notes and looked into my eyes and said "I promise we will find out what is wrong." I was hopeful, but didn't want to get my hopes up to high only to be let down again. She did like all the others and ordered blood work, this time was different, she had ordered so many more test than the others. A couple weeks went by waiting for the results and I went back to see her. She spoke with me about additional tests. She had found that my hormonal levels were out of whack. Maybe all of this was hormonal, I was happy for the news, I thought "this is it". We can fix this, I will be fine. I started taking medication to level out my hormones. I took them for about 2 months and went back for more labs to check on my hormonal levels. Only to be surprised when the results came back even more messed up than before. There were indicators of other diseases in my lab work that weren't there before. We were confused by the results, so more tests were ordered. When the results came back, there were just more questions. She did a lot of research trying to figure out what was going on. I started to give up again thinking she would brush me off like the other  Doctors had.

And that's when the headaches started. I figured there were from stress.  I was working as the Vice President of a Community Management Company.  Long days, something always blowing up, a boss from Hell, etc, etc. Basically the job was hard work, don't get me wrong I loved it. I had worked my way up to VP in a year and a half and loved what I did for a living.  I was raising a family. I was happy with my life. But my life was very stressful and I thought it just had to be the reason I was getting headaches.

As the months went on and the headaches became more frequent and more intense I spoke with my Doctor. We did more blood work and she ordered a CT scan. When the CT Scan results came back they showed I have a severe sinus infection. I was put on strong antibiotics for the infection. I had sort of hoped that it would show something so I would have an answer, but also hoped it showed nothing because it scared me to think they would find a problem in my head. She wasn't satisfied with the results so she asked if I wanted an MRI, and I did.

A few days after the MRI I got the phone call that changed my life. I was sitting at my desk working when my cell phone rang. It was the nurse from my Doctors office. The tone of her voice instantly startled me, but her words stopped my heart "We have your MRI results. The Doctor needs to see you right away." It seemed like it took forever for those words to set in. I told her I would be on my way as soon as I could. So many things were flashing in my head.  I sat at my desk in stunned silence.

When I arrived at the office and said the Doctor asked me to come in right away. The girls at the desk must have already heard the news, they were quieter than usual. As soon as I sat down in the waiting area the nurse called me back. She was usually joking and chatty, this time she was solemn and too quiet. She brought me to the exam room and let me know the Doctor would be right in. I was absolutely scared shitless. So many things were running through my head. My kids, my family, my life, what the hell is going on. The doctor silently entered the room.  I was sitting in a chair and she pulled a chair right up to me. We sat knee to knee and she had a stack of papers along with my chart. Her first question was "Do you have anyone here with you?", that question was like a punch in the gut.  I was thinking oh my god, is it such bad news that someone should be here with me when I hear it? I was alone and her question had just pointed that out to me. She began to tell me that the MRI results had come back. She told me that she wasn't an expert in what they had found and that she had pulled information from the internet and also had some websites for me to look at and then she began to read the MRI results. " Within the sella turcica is a smoothly contoured mass.....This mass occupies the anterior three quarters of the sella tucica.....The only definable pituitary remains within the posterior  aspect of the sella.....Minimal remaining Pituitary gland..."  I must have been staring at her with unbelief because the next thing she tells me is "It means you have a Brain Tumor."

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